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So since the dawn of time women have enjoyed a good romance; the promise of two people meeting under the will of the fates and pledging their undying loyalty and passion towards one another. Love is such a powerful force that it has been one of the main driving forces for art for literal centuries- most recently, movies and television.
There are some women however, who are as swept up by the romance craze as everybody else - just not on TV. And I always wondered why this was.
(PS. It may be to do with love languages)
Most people have heard of the five different love languages: Physical Touch, Giving Gifts, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time and Acts of Service.
But what I am noticing more and more is that in my experience, the way love is portrayed in entertainment varies depending on the medium. This is why I believe that certain women love TV and other women do better with a book.
The strength of television as a medium is that it does everything right? Visuals, sound and story. However the limitation of television is that it does everything . Because of this advantage, the content is often very visuals heavy which leads to many screenwriters, especially in recent years, relying on Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation to convey that two characters love each other. A choice that can leave some women bewitched and others… confused?
There are certain instances of me watching a movie and it would feel as if the kiss between two main characters came out of NOWHERE? And the conversations with others sitting with me would often go something like this:
Me: Wait, does he like her now?
Friend: Girl, of course, they just kissed.
Me: But why are they kissing? It’s so random.
Friend: Because they love each other! See? He just told her.
Me: How? Im so confused…
See what happened here? I couldn’t possibly perceive love or even attraction between two characters because the specific cues that signal ‘love’ for me, were missing. TV translates fine for people who have love languages of Physical Touch. It’s used so often. But for people who have Quality Time and Acts of Service as love languages, it’s much harder. I’m not for a second saying that these things DON’T feature on TV, but not as often as we need.
Neither representation of love is bad, just that people have different needs; I, personally need more than a kiss (or a gratuitous sex scene) to tell us two characters are in love or it can fall flat.
Movies spill love onto a visual canvas, whilst a lot of books are more slow burn (not ALL but a lot). I’m aware that many people blame movies in general for not fleshing things out however, this is one instance where I am going to defend movies and say that it is because of the medium. Books are a much longer form of content that slowly expands. Movies can only fit so much. Regarding books, you get to know the characters as individuals and have a more well rounded view of who they are with no visuals - which forces you to focus more on their character.
With a book, describing a kiss is quite limited so the writers are forced to show love through major characterisation moments instead, moments that not only tell us of who the two characters are as individuals but also how they both relate to each other. Now, suddenly, it’s a language I can understand.
However, someone with opposite love languages to me, may find themselves screaming “The characters in this boring book have zero chemistry; they haven’t done anything!” They may only see two people hang out and waffle for a few chapters and nothing in it that would signify any spark - just platonic. They want to physically *feel* the passion, see the absolutely gorgeous guy and the young lady connect in feverish pleasure. They need to hear his honey dipped voice say those three little words. How can they invest in a romance when he’s too shy to even touch her? When he hasn’t said I love you yet? It takes too many chapters for him to decide what he wants and they don’t find it attractive.
Whereas the opposite viewpoint says “Hold up, kissing ? Why does he even feel comfortable approaching her yet?” I may feel as if this familiarity is forced or arrogant and it can turn me off the love interest to be honest because to me, it feels unearned. Others perceive the waiting as uncertainty on the man’s part whereas I view it as respect. I need yearning for chapters/episodes. I need him spending long evenings holding back the words he desperately wants to say because it feels too soon. I need small but intensely poignant actions that show he’s crazy about her.
Both criticisms are valid to be honest.
I personally would prefer a good book however there are tv shoes out there for us more slow burn girlies 🩷🩷
There are some women however, who are as swept up by the romance craze as everybody else - just not on TV. And I always wondered why this was.
(PS. It may be to do with love languages)
Most people have heard of the five different love languages: Physical Touch, Giving Gifts, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time and Acts of Service.
But what I am noticing more and more is that in my experience, the way love is portrayed in entertainment varies depending on the medium. This is why I believe that certain women love TV and other women do better with a book.
The strength of television as a medium is that it does everything right? Visuals, sound and story. However the limitation of television is that it does everything . Because of this advantage, the content is often very visuals heavy which leads to many screenwriters, especially in recent years, relying on Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation to convey that two characters love each other. A choice that can leave some women bewitched and others… confused?
There are certain instances of me watching a movie and it would feel as if the kiss between two main characters came out of NOWHERE? And the conversations with others sitting with me would often go something like this:
Me: Wait, does he like her now?
Friend: Girl, of course, they just kissed.
Me: But why are they kissing? It’s so random.
Friend: Because they love each other! See? He just told her.
Me: How? Im so confused…
See what happened here? I couldn’t possibly perceive love or even attraction between two characters because the specific cues that signal ‘love’ for me, were missing. TV translates fine for people who have love languages of Physical Touch. It’s used so often. But for people who have Quality Time and Acts of Service as love languages, it’s much harder. I’m not for a second saying that these things DON’T feature on TV, but not as often as we need.
Neither representation of love is bad, just that people have different needs; I, personally need more than a kiss (or a gratuitous sex scene) to tell us two characters are in love or it can fall flat.
Movies spill love onto a visual canvas, whilst a lot of books are more slow burn (not ALL but a lot). I’m aware that many people blame movies in general for not fleshing things out however, this is one instance where I am going to defend movies and say that it is because of the medium. Books are a much longer form of content that slowly expands. Movies can only fit so much. Regarding books, you get to know the characters as individuals and have a more well rounded view of who they are with no visuals - which forces you to focus more on their character.
With a book, describing a kiss is quite limited so the writers are forced to show love through major characterisation moments instead, moments that not only tell us of who the two characters are as individuals but also how they both relate to each other. Now, suddenly, it’s a language I can understand.
However, someone with opposite love languages to me, may find themselves screaming “The characters in this boring book have zero chemistry; they haven’t done anything!” They may only see two people hang out and waffle for a few chapters and nothing in it that would signify any spark - just platonic. They want to physically *feel* the passion, see the absolutely gorgeous guy and the young lady connect in feverish pleasure. They need to hear his honey dipped voice say those three little words. How can they invest in a romance when he’s too shy to even touch her? When he hasn’t said I love you yet? It takes too many chapters for him to decide what he wants and they don’t find it attractive.
Whereas the opposite viewpoint says “Hold up, kissing ? Why does he even feel comfortable approaching her yet?” I may feel as if this familiarity is forced or arrogant and it can turn me off the love interest to be honest because to me, it feels unearned. Others perceive the waiting as uncertainty on the man’s part whereas I view it as respect. I need yearning for chapters/episodes. I need him spending long evenings holding back the words he desperately wants to say because it feels too soon. I need small but intensely poignant actions that show he’s crazy about her.
Both criticisms are valid to be honest.
I personally would prefer a good book however there are tv shoes out there for us more slow burn girlies 🩷🩷
