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ghost_azaleaI don’t let people breadcrumb me anymore. My energy is precious and valuable and I do not let anyone play it that has not earned the right to be fucking playing in it. A lot of people out there want to call themselves your friend but they have not earned that title because how the fuck can you tell me in this generation- I met you over six months ago and you still don’t know my last name? You still don’t know my favourite colour; you have not put in adequate effort to know anything about me yet you’re acting like we’re super close just in case… what? for clout? Just in case I’m successful? It’s okay, love we’re all adults okay and we are old enough to admit that that’s the true reason because I am tired of being breadcrumbed.
I am tired; people KNOW it’s wrong, they know what they’re doing is wrong because as soon as I pull away, I’ll start to get distant suddenly that all up in my inbox spamming me, spamming me, spamming me so they know what they’re doing is wrong and it’s not just a matter of they are homebodies or they’re too busy- EVERYBODY is busy. Do they think I’m sitting on my arse? I have a full-time job Plus a full roster of hobbies to attend to but I make time for the people I love because I am a decent human being. Plus I see them constantly on social media out with the ppl they ACTUALLY fw but I never make the cut? But I’m their ‘bestie’? Give me a break. Im not a bestie, I’m an energy bank to them.
I don’t let my life become an excuse to treat people like shit like most of this generation does, and I have ADHD, autism and C PTSD so I know what it’s like to live with three type of neuro divergences and I still will push it all to the side and maybe that’s my downfall. Maybe I am just soft and give too much of myself but that is who I am because I am honest. I live in my truth and I live in integrity .
But too many people out here move so fucking weird. So no, I won’t be your ‘friend in spirit’- I’m still alive. You do not get to make plans and go out seemingly with everybody else except me and then cancel whenever I make plans with you or worse, just DITCH ME ON THE DAY without saying a word- then pop back up in my life like nothing happened but then still call yourself my best friend and blowing up my inbox when it suits you. Or whenever I distance myself. Too many people hide behind screens and social media gives too many people access to you without having to earn a SECOND of it. Without you actually properly getting to know/suss them out. They only want to drain your energy dry but secretly hate/talk about you? Nahh mate.
So from now on- unless you live long distance; I don’t do penpals, I don’t do weird ‘virtual’ friends- if you want me, come find me and that applies to both relationships and friendships.
If you want to bask in the sweetness, in the value, in the light of my energy; If you want to
enjoy the essence that is me then you can come and find me in real life. You have to build an actual true connection with me and be my actual friend; you need to put in the actual legwork. You need to come to me and work out who I am and I can work out who you are and then we can meet each other halfway- but as for all of this bullshit where you just want to make a halfassed effort online so you have access and proximity to me but you don’t actually have to put up with actually being friends with me or being close to me in all of my humanness so you get the best of both worlds and you can have your cake and eat it too? Absolutely the fuck not.
I am tired; people KNOW it’s wrong, they know what they’re doing is wrong because as soon as I pull away, I’ll start to get distant suddenly that all up in my inbox spamming me, spamming me, spamming me so they know what they’re doing is wrong and it’s not just a matter of they are homebodies or they’re too busy- EVERYBODY is busy. Do they think I’m sitting on my arse? I have a full-time job Plus a full roster of hobbies to attend to but I make time for the people I love because I am a decent human being. Plus I see them constantly on social media out with the ppl they ACTUALLY fw but I never make the cut? But I’m their ‘bestie’? Give me a break. Im not a bestie, I’m an energy bank to them.
I don’t let my life become an excuse to treat people like shit like most of this generation does, and I have ADHD, autism and C PTSD so I know what it’s like to live with three type of neuro divergences and I still will push it all to the side and maybe that’s my downfall. Maybe I am just soft and give too much of myself but that is who I am because I am honest. I live in my truth and I live in integrity .
But too many people out here move so fucking weird. So no, I won’t be your ‘friend in spirit’- I’m still alive. You do not get to make plans and go out seemingly with everybody else except me and then cancel whenever I make plans with you or worse, just DITCH ME ON THE DAY without saying a word- then pop back up in my life like nothing happened but then still call yourself my best friend and blowing up my inbox when it suits you. Or whenever I distance myself. Too many people hide behind screens and social media gives too many people access to you without having to earn a SECOND of it. Without you actually properly getting to know/suss them out. They only want to drain your energy dry but secretly hate/talk about you? Nahh mate.
So from now on- unless you live long distance; I don’t do penpals, I don’t do weird ‘virtual’ friends- if you want me, come find me and that applies to both relationships and friendships.
If you want to bask in the sweetness, in the value, in the light of my energy; If you want to
enjoy the essence that is me then you can come and find me in real life. You have to build an actual true connection with me and be my actual friend; you need to put in the actual legwork. You need to come to me and work out who I am and I can work out who you are and then we can meet each other halfway- but as for all of this bullshit where you just want to make a halfassed effort online so you have access and proximity to me but you don’t actually have to put up with actually being friends with me or being close to me in all of my humanness so you get the best of both worlds and you can have your cake and eat it too? Absolutely the fuck not.